Writers tend to be cynical bastards. That’s to be expected, really. A writer tears his heart out and throws it down on the page, then gets to sit back and watch as critical readers dance the flamenco all over it. It’s enough to drive anyone a little nuts.

Despite the overt cynicism most famous authors are more than willing to share their writing tips with us aspiring writers. If you’re willing to wade through the sarcasm, that is.

The following is a compilation of advice from famous authors regarding the various stages of the writing process.

Getting Started

Everyone, everyone, EVERYONE has a story within them that they can write down. Most people never bother. Most people come up with excuse after excuse to NOT write, to never start telling their story.

A blank piece of paper is God’s way of telling us how hard it is to be God. -Sidney Sheldon

Writing is an act of creation. It is, arguably, the only act of creation of which human beings are truly capable. You’re story has never existed before. It’s fresh. It’s brand new. You are creating something unique in the universe, and that can be damn intimidating.

Johnny B. Truant is quickly becoming a favorite author of mine, and in his words: the universe doesn’t give a flying fuck about you.

I highly recommend taking the time to read that post. In a nutshell: “Fucking hell. Stop whining and just be it already. Be fucking awesome.”

The work never matches the dream of perfection the artist has to start with. -William Faulkner

Perfectionism is an excuse for procrastinators in general (guilty!) and for writers in particular. I know it’s a major fear of mine that I had to push out the way.

As I’m writing my novel I have a picture in my head. The action plays out in front of me like a movie in vivid detail. It’s epic, it’s beautiful, it’s perfect.

And it’s scary as hell. I want to put THAT image down on the page. I want the reader to see the exact same image in their head that I have while I’m writing it. And that’s not possible. It’s just not.

EVERY reader will interpret a scene differently. It’s a matter of programming, experience, and genetics. We can all read the exact same thing and produce entirely different visualizations.

Get over it.

You can’t wait for inspiration, you have to go after it with a club. -Jack London

A lot of aspiring writers never get started because they don’t think they have an idea to write about.

Horseshit.

Everybody has ideas. You have a hundred thousand ideas every day. We all do. It’s called THOUGHT.

If we don’t think we die. It’s a biological fact. So you have ideas. Write them down. Expand on them. Make them into a story that YOU want to tell.

I started writing Regent of Aldun with ONE SCENE in mind. It was a sword fight between a girl and her uncle. One sword fight. In an epic fantasy. Considering that the genre usually tips 250,000 words that’s an insane starting point.

That one idea, that one scene, has now expanded into a 60,000 first draft. It’s not finished. It’s not even close. Hell, I don’t know the ending yet. But I had an idea that I had to write about, and I’m writing about it.

Get your idea and write it down.

You either have to write or you shouldn’t be writing. That’s all. -Joss Whedon

Regent of Aldun started out as a dream I had 15 years ago. I didn’t do anything with it. It sat in the back of my mind, festering. Finally it HAD to come out.

I’m now 60,000 words in to the first draft. I’m not ashamed to admit that it’s shitty, but I’m writing it down.

I have to. Something compelled me start writing it, and something is dragging me along through seven to ten pages each day.

Everyone has an idea that could make a killer story. The difference between a writer and everyone else is that the writer HAS to write.

On Style

“I don’t know how to write” is a common excuse that aspiring writers use to talk themselves out of writing. This is where I call bullshit.

You know how to write.

Most of the basic material a writer works with is acquired before the age of fifteen. -Willa Cather

Think about it.

You learned to talk around one year old. At that point you KNEW your language. Shortly thereafter you went to school where they taught you how to put that language on paper.

Once you knew how to draw letters on a paper the schools moved into teaching you some writing mechanics. Periods and commas and such.

That’s all that writing is. It’s putting language down on a page using some sort of structure understood by the people that read that language. In reality it’s damn dirt simple.

If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can give them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy. -Dorothy Parker

Damn cynical authors…

If you’re reading this you already have all the tools you need to write. Beyond that we talk about style, and there really isn’t anything mystical about it.

The Elements of Style is an old grammar book that lists eighteen rules for sentence structure and writing style. As I’ve said before, you should master these techniques.

The book is old, very early twentieth century, but the rules are just as applicable today as they were 100 years ago.

Prose is arcitecture, not interior decoration. -Ernest Hemingway

This is why proper grammar and sentence structure is important. You are writing a story meant to be read by people that understand the language. Abusing that language will throw off your reader. If you’re grammar is bad enough you risk losing that reader forever.

Proper grammar is not a hard thing. It’s as simple as writing like you talk. If you pause in a sentence, that’s probably a good place for a comma. When you naturally stop and change thoughts, it’s a period.

And that damn “never end a sentence in a preposition” rule? I hate that one. It can take a flying leap.

If you don’t have time to read, you don’t have the time – or the tools – to write. Simple as that. -Stephen King

The single best thing you can do for your writing style is to read other peoples’ writing. When you read you increase your understanding of the language. Read every day, as much as you can.

Read everything you can get your hands on, but when it comes time to write then you should be reading material in the genre you’re writing.

I’m writing a fantasy novel. Fantasy is, by far, the genre I read the most of (up yours, prepositions). I’ve been writing the first draft for just over a month now and in that time I’ve made time to read at least 6 different fantasy books.

Read everything you can get your grubby little hands on (HAH!).

Rough Drafts

The scariest moment is always just before you start. -Stephen King

Holding a pen in your hand and staring at a blank piece of paper is a damn intimidating thing. There’s all kinds of self doubts rolling through your head.

Will it be good enough?

Will people like it?

What if it’s shit?

Well, in short, it WILL BE SHIT.

The first draft of anything is shit. -Ernest Hemingway

So there. Papa Hemingway said so. You’re first draft will be shit.

Write it anyway.

Get it down. Take chances. It may be bad, but it’s the only way you can do anything really good. -William Faulkner

The only way you will know if the draft is shit is if you actually write the damn thing.

So write the damn thing.

I’ve noticed something with my own first draft. It’s shit, but there is a damn good story being told under the shit. It has potential.

Part of the reason I’m writing the first draft longhand is to cut down on self editing as I write. I know from experience typing on a computer that the freaking backspace key is my most used key. I wear the paint off the damn thing.

I don’t want to do that for the first draft, and I highly suggest that you think the same way.

Just. Write.

Get that first draft out. Recognize that it will be shit. Then move on to editing for perfection.

Polishing

It’s perfectly ok to write garbage – as long as you edit brilliantly. -C.J. Cherryh

Your first draft is shit. My first draft is shit. Stephen King’s first drafts are shit. Ernest Hemingway’s first drafts are shit.

First drafts are shit.

There is a very good reason. First drafts are an act of creation. We’re human beings, not God. He might be able to create shit in a week and say “It is good,” but we can’t.

We need to edit our creations.

Think of editing a draft in terms of a sculptor.

Your first draft is a lump of clay sitting on the potter’s wheel. All the material is there to form a beautiful vase, but it’s an unrecognizable lump.

Editing is the act of wetting your hands, spinning the wheel, and working the clay up into a vase. You’re taking the lump of shit and turning it into something wonderful.

But, remember, you have to start with a lump of shit.

Write with the door closed, rewrite with the door open. Your stuff starts out being just for you, in other words, but then it goes out. Once you know what the story is and get it right — as right as you can, anyway — it belongs to anyone who wants to read it. Or criticize it. -Stephen King

You’re never going to see the first, hand written draft of Regent of Aldun. Well, technically you can SEE it as I used a picture of it as the image in the post about it a week or so ago.

But you’ll never read it. No one will. It’s mine, and it’s going to stay that way.

Because it’s shit.

It’s nowhere close to my vision. It doesn’t match the picture in my head. I’m not proud of it.

But I will be. I’m planning on extensive edits. I know they have to happen, and I’m going to make them happen. And I have every confidence in the world that it WILL match my vision before I put it out there for you to read.

And that’s not really for me. It’s for you. I feel I would be doing the reader a disservice by providing them something that didn’t at least match my vision.

Sure, you’re going to form your own vision of events as you read. We all do. But at least I will have done all I can to it before I send it out the door.

Finishing

Once you have finished editing your story, and you WILL finish, you need to publish it. You need to send it out into the world and put it in the hands of readers.

Then you need to do it all over again.

If you write one story it may be bad; if you write a hundred, you have the odds in your favor. -Edgar Rice Burroughs

Practice makes perfect. Odds are pretty good that you won’t be writing Pride and Prejudice or Great Expectations your first time out.

But you will, if you keep practicing.

Writing is art, and art is a journey. It’s not a destination. Writers are always working to master their craft.

Writers have to write and the pure act of repetition will improve your writing.

That’s also why we read so much. Reading fiction will give you a better understanding of how established authors practice their craft.

It’s a great lesson about not being too precious about your writing…You can’t be the kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. -Tina Fey

I questioned including a quote by Tina Fey in this post, but then I got to thinking about who she really is. And the fact is that she is a damn good writer. First as an actor on SNL, then as a writer on that show, then on to 30 Rock, which is absolutely brilliant.

Beside the fact that she knows her shit, she’s right.

You HAVE to finish your work. If you never consider a work finished, you will never publish it. If you never publish it, no one will ever read it. If no one ever reads it, your art may as well not exist.

Art is meant to be appreciated. That is its primary purpose.

And if you never finish a work, you will never start the next one.

You will never create another story.

And creating a story is the primary purpose of a writer.

photo credit: mpclemens via photopin cc